Come watch me create Earthbound character in Sims 4!! Give your opinions and ideas and laugh along with us. Anyone is welcome :)
YOU ANNOYED ME AT “HELLO.”
My real name doesn’t have the word ‘pork’ or ‘porky’ in it anywhere, so don’t bother guessing! AND MY NAME’S NOT LOSER! YOUR NAME’S LOSER!! LOSER!!!
I’M NOT DOING THAT
The answer is: ALL BACON.
Yeah, see, there’s this dumb tradition on my dad’s side of the family where the male babies are given hoity-toity names because it’s more “elegant” and “refined” … or some shit. So both me and my loser brother got that treatment. BUT THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. YOU WILL REFER TO ME AS KING PORKY - OR ELSE.
By the way, Picky’s real name is Pickford! How dorky is that?! HAHAHA-!! … oh right. Guess you wouldn’t know him. But isn’t it a stupid name? Mom used to write it on all of his school stuff. Actually, she wrote my birth name on all my school stuff, too. But I was hella cool and just covered it up with stickers.
Good. You’ll probably live a lot longer than everyone else.
ASSHOLE. YOU CHANGED MY FOLLOWER COUNT FROM 666 TO 667.
Actually, I don’t care. 666 is the devil’s number and the devil ain’t got shit on me!
Yes, that’s right. I find poor people have always been hella jealous of me. That’s how my old neighbor was, back in the day. Stupid asshole. Always asking to come over to my house because I had air-conditioning and he didn’t, and then trying to tell me that HE should be first controller because he’s the guest! THAT’S BULLSHIT!! I’m ALWAYS first controller!
… the hell were we talking about again? Oh right, jealous haters. Yeah, they’re everywhere. They never shut up, but cutting out their tongue with a hot knife should help! HAHAHA!!
"They’re furry suits. Made out of pig. They are totally ridiculous."
"Embrace the facts, manpig. Embrace them."
"YOU TWO WOULDN’T KNOW FASHION IF IT SLAPPED YOU IN THE FACE AND LIT A FOREST ON FIRE!"
"They’re pretty ridiculous."
"Are you serious, they look like puppets from some human children’s show"
NO. NO. NO. YOU ARE WRONG. ASSHOLES!!!
"QUIT DISSING THE UNIFORMS!"
"So you are implying you slaughtered pigs to make those ridiculous uniforms"
Skins for uniforms and the rest of the pig for eating. That’s good, economical sense. At first I thought human leather would be hella badass for uniforms, but it’s not as tough, and I’d need too much supply to meet the demand. It wasn’t practical, but I’ve found a few other uses for it… during those times when I have some to spare. Which usually happens when certain people piss me off. AND THE UNIFORMS AREN’T RIDICULOUS!!!